I have never known precisely what moment I might die. There has been times when I knew it was drawing closer than at others. For the most part subjective life is book-ended between a definite moment of birth and a moment of death that lies in the indefinite future. By that accounting I am now starting out on my third life. There has been two times in my life when death approached me closely and relentlessly - then relented. (That does not count all the foolish high-jinks of my youth.)
Both times I consented to take the actions needed to ward off my fate, although not without thought. Each time there was a price. It was a much higher price the second time. I firmly believe that there are some things worse than dying. The bargain I made with myself in 2018 involves accomplishing a great deal in the duration of whatever reprieve I receive. It may be that that is worse than dying, nor is that the total price I paid.
There are probably half a dozen projects that I would like to accomplish. If I do not say what they are then it is only up to me to beat me on, to apply guilt - whatever it takes to get me up in the morning, to make me productive. Some scientists working on the "Hard Problem of Consciousness" deny that there is a problem ("it's all in your head and therefore irrelevant"). I like Marcus Aurelius and was reminded of that when I saw this article:
https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/05/20/marcus-aurelius-meditations-mortality-presence/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Fair warning: there are ads in this series of "messages from God".
The Buddhists seem to agree with the "it's all in your head" school of thought. I think that getting on the hamster wheel of the mind ultimately leads to this conclusion. Pure objectivity is so much more appealing and beautiful than accommodating a model of mind that might lead one into empathy, resonance, and eventually the likelihood of crucifixion.
No matter how hard we try we all fall short of the infinite glory of God. It does not matter whether our sin is anosognosia, solipsism, or malice. Naturally the list of sins is not complete (not even the eight deadly sins). We must also recall the "sins of the fathers" and "original sin", which we can now safely identify as at least partially genetic. It is (for me) an open question whether we can be absolved of the genetic component of our sins. Christian thought holds otherwise, yet not absolutely since Jesus died for our sins.
In religion, symbolism IS reality. In the mind, symbolism is meaning, which is the only reality. (This is not the solipsism of the self/ego, but it comes close.) I once wrote that meaning is a relationship between truth and ontology. What could that possibly mean?
Well, back to work.
